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I Am Sinatra and This is My Day

August 24, 2011 Leave a comment

It’s time to get up and get going.  My job is to scratch the top of the blanket and see if anyone stirs.  Then hopefully someone will make me a cave.  Usually, RJ does it because he gets up earliest.  I like the 3 pillow caves the best.   You see if RJ stacks 3 pillows and puts the blankets over the top, I can craw in without being smothered.  But since RJ is up, the cave will have to wait.  First, I go in the bathroom with RJ because he pets me while he is sitting on the toilet.  I go in circles around the toilet until I get distracted by the cupboard.  I am close to opening it by myself but not quite.  Which shelf of towels should I sit on?  Wait, he’s getting up.  I need to make my mad dash for the shower.  I go into the shower and layer on the shower bench.  RJ pets me there for a good 5 minutes or until the bench is covered with fur.  I am talking and purring the whole time.  The purring echos very loudly.  Oh, oh, he’s reaching for the water.  Out I go.  Back to the bed and into my cave.  This only lasts for a while because Juanita starts stirring; couldn’t be I am tickling her with my fur.  Out I pop like a hotdog out of bun.  Next, I have to give my bear a massage, “in goes the good air, out goes the bad air.”  It’s alot easier to give resuscitation now that Juanita has moved the bear from the bed to the table.

In goes the good air; out goes the bad air.

Done with the bear, I move to my viewing location on top of the curtain valance.  Takes an act similar to the triple jump, from the floor, to the perch and then to the valance.  Not sure how Juanita knew to make a valance with a 3-inch wide trim for me to sit on, but it works and I thank her for it.  I sit here quite a while; is she ever getting up?  NO ONE can reach me including that big, white dog.

My favorite lookout spot.

It’s time for me to get down.  Question, do I take the casual, hip hop jump in reverse from how I got up there or do I take a dive and land on Juanita while she’s sleeping? Juanita, it is.

Phew, I’ve worked up an appetite.  Crunch, crunch, crunch.  Now for a little drink.  The cat water fountain is not good enough.  I want the fresh water from the tub.  I don’t care if it does cool off the bath water RJ ran for Juanita.  I want my water fresh.

What's Black Bart doing with my water?

What a staff meeting again?  What’s up with these human to cat discussions, something about peeing on the rug.  It wasn’t me, I swear.

Back to the bear for another massage.  Finally, Juanita is up.  On to the dresser so she can pet me, now to the laundry room so she can pet me.  Into the kitchen so she can pet me.  Another drink in the kitchen sink.  But wait, we’ve passed by the treat station.  Must get a treat; Temptations are the best and only treats as far as I’m concerned.  Even though Juanita gives me a pile at my usual station, I want some on the couch and a few more on the end table.  Don’t forget to pet me between stations.

Oh man, I almost missed the pipe cleaner on the floor.  It is my favorite toy.  I found a stash of them in Juanita’s craft room, all colors.  Juanita’s Mom, otherwise known as Grandma, brought me my own package.  She gives me treats, too.  I think I like her.  I didn’t mean to bite her while she was petting me, but she quit before I was ready.  She seems to favor the big white dog anyway; at least she brings him SPECIAL treats.  How about a little cat nip for me; I’m just saying.

I think it is time for my nap.  Look what I found in Juanita’s craft room.

Pole Dancing is Next

See you in a few hours.  When you look this cute, you need plenty of beauty sleep.

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Why It Takes Me 2 Hours to Get Ready in the Morning

March 8, 2011 Leave a comment

I’m departing from my Building a Winery…series because this is just too funny to wait.  This blog is from RJ, not me.  I have been laughing about this for weeks and asked him to put it in words.  Unfortunately, pictures would be X-rated and not necessarily pleasant, but you have to read on to understand that:

When I worked for pay, I could get a shower, brush my teeth, dress and be out the door in 30 to 45 minutes. Now I’m retired and it takes 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours. The difference is when I get up now, I’m escorted to the toilet by the tuxedo cat but on the way I have to stop and turn on the water so she can get a drink, then the black cat joins me to get petted while I’m on the pot. When I’m done the tuxedo cat jumps on the make-up table to be brushed.  Upon completion she then enters my shower for more personal attention; she’s so cute! I complete my 12 minute shower to be joined by the black cat and his mother on the dressing table. (The mom is too old and fat to jump on the table so she sits and cries until I lift her up on the table.)  After I give both of them a good brushing, I go brush my teeth while they get another drink from the faucet. The mom cat now joins me in the bed room while I put on my socks and pants, as I pet her some more. I’m now ready to go to the kitchen, followed by 3 cats. Its cat treats time followed by another faucet turn on for drinks.  While they are drinking, I go say good morning to the dog and take him out for his business. Having been inside all night he has many plants and things to leisurely sniff and smell until he finds the absolutely perfect spot to poo; this could take an unspecified amount of time some mornings. With his business out of the way, it’s time to go back in the house and clean the 4 cat boxes, while the dog sits and begs for a biscuit for each box cleaned.  With that function complete I head to the kitchen to put food in the dog’s dish and make some breakfast that is shared with the dog, including any fruit like bananas. It’s now at least 1 hour and 45 minute since I’ve rolled out of bed and have taken care of MY WIFE’S CAT’S and our dog.  All pets have adopted us; none were shopped for or purchased. They just appeared into our life and my morning routine.

He forgot to mention the frequent cat poo pick-up because one or more cats can’t seem to keep their butt in the cat box.  Oh yes, and there is the occasional cat and/or dog puke.

Our 3 Cats on Their Perches in our Bedroom

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General Update 2

June 25, 2008 Leave a comment

In her favorite sink.

Well, no building permits yet.  I know you’re probably not surprised; were laughing at me when I was so optimistic.  But I’m disappointed.  It seems we need a “green sheet” from Clean Water Services.  I have no idea what a “green sheet” is, but I’ll get one.  Unfortunately, that takes 5 business days.  Also, Land Use has to give us a final sign-off.  I’m not sure what that is either, since we have “conditional” land use and can’t get the conditions removed without the completion of the building, which, you guessed it, requires building permits.  Do you see a vicious circle here?  We also didn’t get our labels yesterday either.  And as for the bathroom sink bowl, it cracked while being put in the cooling kiln.  Another attempt will happen on Thursday.  I need a win!  Since I have no winery pictures, I’m including a picture of one of my cats, Sinatra.